The season of lilacs is monstrous
The people I like are thorough
I am not very thorough
I water my plants with the juices of another
I’m here for a short time not a good time
I like women singing
in different languages
and clouds
that cut the sky in half
weeping willows
and bushes of lilac
and the long, firm stamens
of calla lilies
It’s not good to live with regrets
I don’t have many
I can probably count them
on one hand
I regret not getting the ultrasound
and miscarrying a week later
All of my favorite things
resist me
You can’t milk perfume
from lilacs
The season of lilacs is monstrous
if monstrosity can be defined
as proportional to beauty
and inversely proportional
to the time
in which that beauty survives
I feel as though I’ve lost everything
though I am aware that I lack for nothing
I play my body like a song
we’ve all heard before
Puppet
Diseases wander to me
like an unwanted body
pressed against mine
hard and masculine
with that definite end
I smell like my mother now
*
An older man whom I chose
to abandon
told me I don’t cum
like other women
He confused me
with his daughter
which I didn’t mind
and still don’t
Since I was a child
I wanted to be the prettiest puppet
I remember thinking
it’s the least I can do
*
My beliefs are like me
weak and limited
by the flesh encasing them
I will tell as much of the truth
as you can handle
Whatever you say I should never do
I’ll say I’d never do
*
I grew up a cold and quiet animal
knowing it was advantageous
I bite hard on the insides
of my mouth
Let others see me like a watercolor
painted with fingers
Something blurred and formless
abstracted into silence
so as not to have to stand for anything
other than myself
which I do
sparingly
*
Still there is so much tissue within me
waiting to be expelled
like a miscarriage
like shit
*
One day no one will believe
in a world where I do the right thing
—
Francesca Kritikos is Editor-in-Chief of SARKA, a journal and publisher focused on works of the flesh. Her poetry has been published in English, French, and Greek and in numerous online and print publications. Her latest book, The season of lilacs is monstrous, is forthcoming from Blush Lit in autumn 2025.